i'm so sorry Ben's in every log ben stop doing things

[nonhuman]

After talking briefly with Hound about seeing Kenna, Ben decided that, okay, maybe he should try and leave his room for the first time in over a week. He had some business with Kenna.

Knowing that, one, Hound's situation was going to take some time to resolve and, two, he hasn't showered in... enough time to be embarrassed about it, Ben cleans himself up before heading out a couple of hours later. He walks with just enough of a limp to be noticed, but, in reality, most of his wounds from his fight have healed up properly. They took a lot longer than usual, but, eh. He figures he's been stressed.

He knocks on the door to the clinic and leans his head in.

"U-um, excuse me?"

Comments

[fire_brand]

After the business with Hound, Kenna was especially anxious. His life had mostly fallen back into its normal routine since the encounter with Sam. But today had thrown the monotony for a loop and Kenna found he missed things when they were mundane.

He is at the counter, cleaning his equipment after sending Hound on his way, when he hears the knock on the door. He doesn't bother to turn around.

"Come on in. I'll be with you in a moment."

[nonhuman]

Bennett fidgets a little, watching Kenna clean in silence for a minute. It doesn't take very long before he has to ask.

"I-is Chase okay?" He blurts out, and immediately winces, covering his mouth. "I-- I mean, I'm sorry, I know-- confidentiality and all of that for doctors. S-sorry. I shouldn't-- s-sorry."

Great, great second time really actually talking to this guy. Good start, Ben,

[fire_brand]

Kenna does not answer for a time, carefully putting away the needle and the thread. When he turns to face Ben, he wipes his brow then scrubs a hand over the back of his head.

"He'll be fine. It wasn't as a bad as he made it sound."

Hound is kind of a drama queen.

[nonhuman]

"W-well, i-in fairness, he probably didn't make it sound as bad as I-- I imagined it. I, I spook easy." He murmurs with a half-smile and a shrug.

They should... probably get down to business.

"U-um, I'm-- I'm actually not here for help." Ben's not going to admit he could probably stand to have his leg looked at. "I-- I wanted to come and thank you, for... well, for helping me with my concussion, but-- u-um, mmmmore, m-more for. Helping Chase. And Lily, i-in, in turn."

With a soft jingle, Bennett produces a small pouch of coins from his pocket. It's the one from the Halloween baskets.

[fire_brand]

Kenna almost waves him off.

"Hound is my friend. I would do no less for him." He'd said as much to Kendra. The people who were important to him would always be able to count on him. The ship was unreliable enough as it was. Having something be a constant was comforting.

He starts though, when he hears the jingle of the coins, his arms dropping uselessly by his side. So that's how Hound got his hands on coins. Rowe was generous but not that generous.

"Really?" he asks, his eyes wide, eyebrows menacing his hairline. He was sure he would never get his hands on them. More insurance against Sam. Perfect.

[nonhuman]

"I-- I, uh. I figured they were important, since... Ch-chase was hoarding them." Bennett smiles, and runs his free hand through his hair. "I-- I don't... I'm not sure why, but-- I, I had the feeling they'd help you out, too."

He jingles the pouch and adds, "There're eight here, I think. I kept one and used one earlier."

[fire_brand]

Eight coins. He could add them to the tiny collection he's managed to amass over his tenure here. Maybe it would be enough if the shit ever hit the fan.

"Thank you, Bennett. This is. Very kind of you. Thank you."

[nonhuman]

"I-- I also get the feeling that... you know, even if he is your friend, you're-- you're doing a lot more for Chase than..." He steps forward, limp a little more obvious than he'd like, and hands Kenna the coins. "...I figured someone needed to thank you, and, you know. W-w-what am I gonna do with 'em, eh?"

Ben heaves a soft little sigh, still looking at the bag. "I... it, i-it might sound stupid, but. I want to help him, but I-- I feel like my hands are tied. So, just... I can try and at least make him happy." There is a quiet fear in Ben's eyes. He wants to ask Kenna questions, see if there's something he can do to help Hound, but, then it hits him.

What if Kenna's in a similar situation?

A fresh wave of guilt washes over Ben for Kenna's hypothetical troubles. At least he doesn't have his face sewn shut, but how does one even become crew on a place like this...?

[fire_brand]

Kenna holds his hand out for the bag of coins and when they clink into his hand he sighs. He holds them in his hand, down by his side, while his finger toys with the drawstring. "I appreciate that." He didn't hear thanks very often. Not from anyone save for Chase. And while he didn't stick his neck out for the kudos, it did make him feel good to know that he wasn't letting this boat shape him into something horrible.

"I know you want to help him," Kenna said slowly, choosing his words carefully, "But. Please be careful, Bennett." If something were to happen...

An anxious sort of feeling washed over him and he went to the door to shut it firmly. Just in case.

"If you want to help him, then remember him. Remember him and if you're going to use his name, just...make sure no one hears you."

[nonhuman]

This is just like Hound burning the paper. His absolute, terrified paranoia. He'd been content to take everything else with him, but he was so quick, so scared to burn that paper.

"... I was told to trust you." Bennett meets Kenna's eyes, able to hold the gaze for the first time in a while. "You were-- w-were first on the list." He laughs a little, and loses his nerve, breaks eye contact.

But having no one hear him use Hound's name snaps him back to attention.

"W-wait, wait-- don't-- why can't someone hear his name? Are you talking crew? I-- I learned it from Lily, someone who-- who knew him before. Other passengers can't know, either?"

[fire_brand]

This was a mistake. He'd said entirely too much and he looked behind him, to make sure the door was still shut. That would be just like Hound, to say he could be trusted. Hound could trust him. Passengers on the other hand? Well Kenna wasn't sure he wanted to afford them that luxury.

Ben had an advantage. He meant something to Hound and Hound meant something to Kenna. So he would say as much as he could. And pray the Captain's gaze was anywhere but on him.

"I mean anyone. It's just better if only a few people know it."

[nonhuman]

"I-- are you-- you're saying it's-- it's going to hurt him as much as help him." Ben scrubs a hand through his hair again, trying not to be frustrated. He's still short on sleep after his brig experience, and it's making him more irritable than he'd care to admit.

"...wh-what happened to him, Kenna? Can... c-can you tell me that, at least?"

[fire_brand]

Kenna looks away and swallows. He has to check the door again. Then he slinks up to Ben, drops his voice low so what is said can only be heard between the two of them.

"Please don't ask me. The Captain is generous to let him stay on the ship at all. So don't question it. Please."

[nonhuman]

He sighs, quiet, dropping his voice as well. "I-- I'm noticing a theme of being told to-- t-to not ask questions around here." A quick nod. "I-- I mean, I-- I get it, though. And I-- th-the last thing I want is-- is for you guys to get yourselves in trouble."

Ben runs a hand down his face, pulling it into an odd expression. "Or, more trouble, in Ch-- H-hound's case, I'm guessing."

[fire_brand]

"Don't ask questions and you must always thank the Captain for her kindness," he said firmly.

Kenna didn't want any trouble. He just wanted to live his life and treat his patients and spend time with his girlfriend. He never asked for any of this. He brings the coins up and presses the bag to his chest.

"Be careful. You're not at home anymore. Sometimes the answers aren't worth it."

[nonhuman]

"I-- but I can't, j-just... not help him." Bennett scrubs at his scalp again in frustration. "E-even if he's-- h-he's a bit of an idiot sometimes, he's-- I-- I don't know what the other things on the ship are but H-hound's at least... human."

He shoves his hands in his pockets to stop fidgeting.

"I, I just-- found him when I was a wolf, and he looked-- f-fucking heartbroken, and... I-- I don't know. I'm sorry. I wasn't coming here to interrogate you, I-- I promise. I don't want you in trouble, e-especially when you're-- y-you're sticking your neck out for him and, and who knows who else."

I am so sorry for the delay. Dragon Age has taken over my life

[fire_brand]

Foolish boy. Kenna wants to call him foolish and stupid and dumb and all manner of names until the professor sees that the road he is walking now will only lead to a dead end.

There is no help for Hound. There is only the Captain's patience and mercy and who knows how long that would last?

So much left to say and Kenna finds he is too exhausted to say it. He had done his best to warn Bennett to leave well enough alone. Hound is alive which is more than can be said of his Nameless ilk. Why couldn't that be enough?

He rubs a hand over his eyes to alleviate the burning and he sighs. "I know you care about him and I appreciate that. I'm sure he does too. But, the road to hell was paved with good intentions." He turns away, begins arranging things on the counter so he can get his work done for the day.

"Hound's life doesn't concern you. So just stay out of the Captain's business." For Hound's sake. And Bennett's.

NO WORRIES. Almost everyone I know is in the same boat...

[nonhuman]

"E-everybody's life concerns me, Kenna, if-- if I can help, I'm-- I'm going to help." He says it with conviction, but no volume, and his voice dies away on his lips.

Bennett understands there are strings tugging at the crews' limbs, and it is always going to be less painful to go with the pull than to fight back. That's why Hound worries him, why Kenna now worries him, too. He knows he's losing out on Kenna's merciful patience, so he throws his hopes at one last question.

"...why does me knowing his name help him? If... if you can tell me that, I'll-- I'll leave you be."

[fire_brand]

For a moment, Kenna thinks not to answer. To just send Bennett on his way. He had no right to this answer. Bennett had no idea what he is asking. He has no idea what he is walking into and Kenna wouldn't be able to live with himself if Hound was the collateral damage.

"I can't..." he says and taps his fist uselessly against the counter top. It was always harder when the cattle cared. It would be better if they didn't get attached.

He is silent for a painfully long moment before he sighs and turns to look at Bennett. "Because, as long as someone remembers him, he will never be forgotten."

That was most important. Just remember him so no one will forget him.

[nonhuman]

Never mind what Bennett thought before. This crew-- the people on it with any humanity or heart or whatever you want to call it-- their limbs aren't being pulled. Their hands are tied. And then some.

"....a-and if he's forgotten, he becomes like the others." Ben guesses, chewing at his lip, voice low. He nods, slowly, as though he's convincing himself of his own theory. Kenna probably won't-- can't.

"K-kenna, th-thank you. Please, if-- if there's anything I can do for you, let me know. I owe you so much more than eight coins of-- I-- I mean, obviously they have some value, but-- l-let me know. I'm sorry to fight you for answers. Thank you for-- f-for your patience with me." He says it all as quickly as he can to keep Kenna from interrupting him, or throwing him out. His hands are shaking by the time he's done.

[fire_brand]

Kenna says nothing more. He has already said more than enough and he is just going to have to let the chips fall where they may. Trying Rowe's patience is a dangerous sport and Kenna does not like how often he's become a player.

There is nothing left that Kenna wants to say, so he just nods at Bennett's thanks.

"Is that all you needed?"

[fire_brand]

Bennett guesses and Kenna thinks he can't be blamed for that. Whatever they figure out on their own, regardless of how right or wrong they are, they still figured out on their own. Surely, that was reasonable?

Kenna doesn't confirm or deny Bennett's assumption. He just shrugs uselessly and nods at the Professor's thanks. He didn't need his thanks. He just hoped the coins would be enough.

"No problem." Not too much of a lie anyway. "It's good that you're here. For Hound. He needs you. Lily too. All of you. So, thanks."

He fidgets, uncomfortable and nervous. "Call me again if you need anything else."